I have a reputation for a lot of things. One in particular is my cluminess which also extends to a tendancy to lose things. The truth is I am a deep thinker. And sometimes, I'm so busy thinking, I don't concentrate on the task at hand. Whether that be walking down the street or leaving a hotel room with all my things. My work is to slow down and be in the moment more.
Have you ever had the experience of losing something sentimental? Like a piece of jewellery or something similar from a special someone? It's a horrible feeling right? I bet, like me, you spent a lot of time blaming yourself for your hopelessness. But, the truth is, that isn't very healthy or even productive. I've had to learn the hard way to be OK with letting go. This post is about how I manage it.
It starts with getting clear in my heart that these sentimental 'things' are still just things. They do not define your relationship. They do not own your memories. They help you feel good and treasured, but not in the way that deeply connecting and loving someone can. When I talk about 'the good stuff' things don't really measure up. The experience of recieving them might, but the thing itself is still just a thing. Experiences and people are FAR more important than any thing.
But it isn't easy. On Sunday night, I did a yoga class and I removed my beautiful Tiffany's neclace because it was getting in my way. I have to admit Sunday night I was in my head a lot thinking about something I'd just done (which was announcing on Facebook that I'd had botox and then worrying that was a stupid thing to do - that's a post for another time). Anyway, I forgot to put it back on. Off I went home where I proceeded to forget all about it until I went to bed and tried to remove my no longer there necklace.
This necklace has a beautiful and yet complicated history. It's actually the replacement of the one that I got for my 40th birthday four years back from my extended family. That I lost last year whilst in Cannes for work. I'd convinced myself that it still carried the thoughts and love of the original. It cost me $2,000 to replace, so it held both sentimentality and hard cold cash in the mix.
Losing it gave me a very good opporutunity to practice what I preach. And whilst I woke up feeling flat on Monday, I quickly moved in to a space of I am OK. My family adore me. They wouldn't want me to feel sad. They know me and what I'm like. And at the end of the day, my beautiful necklace is nowhere near as important as some of the horrific things happening around me in the world this week (Nepal, Bali, Baltimore).
Next time you get that sick feeling after losing something here's my advice:
- take a deep breath (or 5)
- focus on not what you have lost, but what you do have
- do not berate yourself nor let dissapoinment overwhelm you
- do your best to reclaim your lost item....and then LET IT GO
And note to self if you do happen to replace it, insurance is a good idea!