Do you make sure to nourish your support network?


I know how important this is better than most. Mainly because I’ve endured life changing, scary and gut wrenching medical challenges.  What you figure out in these times is who is really there for you. So there’s a blessing in that. The people that step up in these times are the real deal.  They are reliable. They will be there for you time and time again (no matter how big or small the challenge and amount of support needed).

I am very grateful (lucky) to have an enormous support network. I think of it as lots of mini support groups.  First there is my family, they are simply the most important people in my life (and my number one support group).  Then there are my best girl friends – I’ve talked about them here before. My work colleagues deserve a mention too. My tribes (blogged about here before) as well.  Finally there is the small but very strong group of male friends in my life.  Today I want to talk about them.

When I was younger I used to think that real male/female friendships weren’t possible. That in fact, one of the two of you would eventually confess to having stronger feelings. To be fair this was my experience and it was typically me having to disappoint said ‘friend’. But, as I’ve matured I have gradually formed very strong bonds with a handful of men who are absolutely trustworthy, supportive and purely platonic. One is gay but the other few are not.

Over the past couple of weeks I have spoken to each and every one of them. I just felt compelled to seek their support, in some ways more so than my female friends. Perhaps because their style of support is somewhat different (they are from Mars after all!).  Instead of sympathy, hugs and words of comfort they jump straight to protection mode. They are angry, frustrated and want to exact revenge on my behalf (broken legs, abusive phone calls that sort of thing).  Whilst I wont let them seek any, this kind of support right now is very therapeutic for some reason.  It makes me laugh (at least a little) instead of cry. Which is pretty cool right?!

I am so grateful to have these wonderful men in my life. Everyone of them tells me they love me, and I feel the same about them. They all rally when the going is tough. They are not connected to each other, all very different yet all the same in times of crisis. Absolutely there for me and ready to go into any battle on my behalf. They are also living proof that there are good men out there. 

Whilst I adore all of my support networks, todays post is for my male friends. They are the best kind of men. Yes I realize I am a very lucky girl. These peeps are not just the good stuff, they are the best of the best.

It’s so important to nourish your support networks. To keep the bonds strong. Be there for your people. Because trust me, some day you are going to get it back in spades. And it makes all the difference.

For the record, this will be the last post with any reference to my recent heart break. The truth is, I’m feeling much better than this time a week ago and focussing on moving forward. I'm still working on the forgiveness part but its coming, I can feel it. And while my previous post was titled when you lose don't lose the lesson, I'm beginning to realize I didn't lose at all.