Coming home

Ibiza. It sounds so exotic and downright hedonistic; when one of my very good friends organized her birthday party there I didn’t hesitate.

As things turned out, as the trip approached I also happened to have some frustrating health news that left me questioning my ability to influence my health (or at least my desmoid tumor) through diet and lifestyle. This in turn meant that I decided I deserved to take a vacation not just from work but from all the restrictions I’d put on myself in my health quest. Party time.

Let me tell you, Ibiza is beautiful. It’s fun. It’s exhilarating. Spending all my time with beautiful friends from home made it all the more special. 

We did it in style, we stayed in a stunning 7 bedroom villa. We partied in the best venues in town. The most celebrated DJs were part of our ‘set’ and played for us at every turn (at parties and events from small to large). We took over private areas at upscale beach clubs. We ate at some of the absolute best restaurants in town.  We drank a lot. Sometimes we didn’t get enough sleep. Other times we slept all day. In short, it was a once in a lifetime trip and I’m thrilled I had the opportunity to experience it all.

As with all vacations, it had to end. And if I’m honest, I felt absolutely wrecked when it did. Tired and emotional. Unhealthy.  Absolutely craving a yoga class and a green smoothie - pronto. The flight home was fairly tortuous in my sad state. 8 hours felt like 16!

However, on arriving back home to NYC I immediately felt calmed.  Surrounded by my creature comforts (and especially my beautiful dog) my mood lifted.  But more than that, I felt a sense of excitement to get back to my routine.  My life. I also realized that coming home for me is not so much about a particular place. It's more about self care.

Self care to me is embracing my good stuff. It’s yoga and running, eating clean, getting sleep, and being moderate with alcohol. It’s also meditating and trusting the Universe will guide me.  It’s going to work and being productive, living in the moment whether that moment is work or play. In short it’s not a lot like Ibiza….

I’ve been back two days now and it’s become so clear just how much I love this 'home' of mine. And it’s very comforting to know that it’s always here waiting for me. That, no matter what happens (or how far I stray) I can pull it all back together fast.  There is no judgment. There’s no regret. Instead there’s just a sense that I’m exactly where I need to be. Right now.

The truth is, it’s easy to look back and be a self-critic. I do that plenty. But I know it’s not helpful. Next time you are tempted I say do this instead. Take a deep breath. Remember what makes you feel your best. Then start doing more of it. Immediately. That's what I call coming home.