Love the one you're with (love the one you're with!)


Love the One you're with. An oldie but a goodie and the sort of lyrics that can easily get lodged in your brain.  Since coming up with the idea behind this post, it's been kind of hard to shake.  Why? It's a catchy tune for sure. It's more than that though; it feels like the work of synchronicity. Do you have that experience? When whatever is on your mind will suddenly present itself to you in full song version. Not sure about you, but I kind of love it. It's like I'm the DJ of my life.

Anyway, you might expect given the above, this post is about romantic love. It's not. Actually, I'm not good at multi tasking on the relationship front. In particular if I'm in love, I got to get over that stuff before I can feel love for someone else. But I can totally relate to the sentiment in other aspects of my life.

We don't always get to do what we love all day every day.  In fact, for most of us, work is not the stuff of love and passion (while we wish it were), but a means to an end. Personally I love my career in advertising and feel incredibly grateful for it.  But after I went through the experience of breast cancer I started to question how meaningful it is to the world at large. 

So I got busy broadening my horizons. I started to spend time studying. Last year it was health coaching. This year it's yoga teaching. I write blogs. I read a lot of stories to inspire change (Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert being the latest in a long line). I've got a pretty spectacular vision of my future dreamed up. It's not about tomorrow or even next year but life is long and I intend to gradually make shifts toward more meaning.

In the here and now, I apply myself to my career in advertising. Appreciating and enjoying my role gives me plenty of resources and satisfaction. Ultimately I don't have to be saving the world to help people have a better experience in life. In fact, I can do that here, in my role in an advertising agency. So I help people I work with a lot. I listen, I coach and one day I might teach them yoga too.

When it comes to a means to an end, I can't really call my career that. I'm lucky, extremely grateful, happy and feel rewarded. I even get to do yoga on my desk to a backdrop of NYC. But I don't lose sight of my dreams. Sometimes, the biggest changes are the result of many small steps. And that is OK.

The fact is, life is not an on demand portal for our dreams. They wouldn't even be dreams if it were! So keep it up with the big dreams. Let your ideas run wild. Draw up plans. Change them a million times. Create vision boards. Write up goals even. Then start taking steps toward them. Use momentum to trump fear. And in the meantime - love the one you're with.

If you're frustrated that an area of your life feels like it's holding you back from your true desires, you might benefit from a mental reset. Maybe it's where you live, the car you drive, the way you eat or your career like me. Practice acceptance, respect its place in your life right now. Value what it provides, make a list of all the related good things. In hindsight you will no doubt be grateful. Then keep taking those small steps as you walk with your head held high,  in the direction of your dreams.