This might be the longest I have ever gone without posting since starting this blog. It has for now become another thing on a huge to do list. I do love writing, so I'm happy that I have carved out a little space (before work) to focus here. Also that I can tick it off the list. Sad but true. I'm sorry!
The thing is, I'm going through a period of rather large change. If you've been following a long on this journey of my life this wont surprise you at all. I'm in somewhat of a transition year. It started with change, and I definitely find that change begets change. It's such cyclical part of life. It's exciting, it's scary and it can be all consuming. Which is what is happening to me.
Staying open to change is not for the feint hearted. In fact, there is a part in all of us that simply wants to choose a safer path. A path of comfort, ease, routine and familiarity. I know this is true for me. Right now, I am not sleeping well because I'm doing quite the opposite. But staying open can bring great reward, so keeping a level head, knowing that this too will pass is how I've decided to cope.
If you want to know the finer details here they are. After four years, I've decided to move apartments. I am taking a risk and leaving the building I have grown such an attachment for because I want to have the experience of living in a different part of town. Secondly, from a physical POV, after years of triathlon, running and a little yoga I am only practicing yoga. This is partly right now because of a fractured ankle from my last ski trip, but also with YTT in full swing a matter of hours in the day. Finally, and this is big for me, I'm rethinking the career change I've been dreaming of. Maybe I can teach yoga, be a health coach and enjoy my current career at the same time?! Maybe.
Adding it all together, I think I'm finally moving into a place of letting go of my breast cancer baggage (somewhat!). I don't have all the answers. But I believe, life just unfolds exactly as it's meant to. So I'm trying to practice raga (the word for attachment in sanskrit). One day at time, I'm moving I just don't know where to (this is not true on the apartment front, just in life!).
The saving grace in all of this has been yoga teacher training. In the midst of the choppy waters of change, it is a consistent space of introspection. Every other weekend, I am focussed for 7 hours per day on learning. There are no cell phones. There is a lot of meditation. It brings me back to me. That is not always where I want to be right now, but it's important. Which leads me to the opinion of the value of meditation during so much change.
I've got a feeling that I'm really only just dipping my toe in the water now. That I've started something bigger, I just don't yet know what it is. I'm getting unstuck.
If you're feeling a little stuck yourself, perhaps use this as inspiration. Make one change. Then watch as it reverberates throughout your life. Life is short, it's also long, for you to get the most out it, you can't always choose safety. You just have to go and get it.